wild sparks

I haven’t felt terribly inspired to blog lately. Life has been rather full of ups and downs. Lack of sleep from late pregnancy discomforts, combined with other challenges, has left me feeling a bit down and out. I’ve been finding it very difficult to hang on to my artful living convictions, despite my best efforts.

I would imagine that this is all part of the Challenge. Any time that you try to make big internal (or external) shifts, challenges are presented. Is this what you really want? Are you sure? What are you willing to do, or go through, to make it happen? I’m quite sure this is where I am at right now. Constantly trying to pull myself back to the goal, to refocus my efforts.

The funny thing is, even with all of my internal struggles, I have been receiving a continuous stream of encouragement and support from the Universe. After many years away from photography, I was recently gifted with a new camera. My family and friends have been so supportive of my desire to become a potter. Even my fears of not having everything ready for the soon-to-be-here baby have been assuaged by much-appreciated gifts from dear ones. It’s these things I must cling to when I find myself battered by the storms of change.

I must remind myself that we are always given what we need… I just need to trust.

Life is good. All of it.

Another giveaway… this time from a very talented, dear friend of mine. I love Alice’s jewelry; always original and creative, and all done by her very own hands! This necklace is a beauty.

Check it out and enter!  http://www.istanbuldesigns.com/blog/2010/01/theres-first-time-for-everything-its.html

Gorgeous Chinese turquoise (a new stone to me!)… enter for your chance to win this beautiful necklace from a talented artist!

http://rosyrevolver.blogspot.com/2010/01/its-giveaway-time.html

A wave of life hit me these last few days, temporarily disrupting my artful thoughts. Really, more like sending them into a tailspin. In hindsight, I see that it was the Universe challenging me on my resolve to living an artful life. It’s not easy for me to stay on track with things; I’ve always been very distractable, which is probably one of the reasons (THE reason?) that I can never seem to complete anything. I’m back on track, and determined to stay the course.

My biggest adventure this year (a whole 8 days in) has been my decision to embark on a journey to become a potter. I love pottery… always have. It’s one of the first things I head for at art festivals.  In the back of my head has always been the desire to give it a whirl, but I have always dismissed it. No longer! So while I’ve been searching for an affordable pottery class, I’ve been dabbling with air-drying clay.

So far I have made a poppy bowl as a Yule gift for a dear friend:

Poppy Bowl

and I’m currently working on a quirky little toadstool:

Toadstool, WIP

Yes, I have a long ways to go before I can throw works of art (like this or this or this), but I’ll sure have fun trying to get there!

Today’s Artful Living has been interrupted by a mad nesting instinct.

I had great plans for doing a post about one of my new explorations, but instead today was spent clearing out about 7 moving boxes that were stuffed into what will soon be the nursery. But the good news is that I found my Slinky! I’ve been wondering where it had gone. I also finally unpacked my awesome Wonder Woman statue. 

I consider this to be a productive and eventful day.  I will now go enjoy my fake wine, and rest my aching sciatica.

Cheers!

It is with great excitement and hope that I greet 2010.  I feel that this will be a very powerful year, on many levels.

I didn’t want to create “resolutions”, because those well-intended bursts of energy are so often lost as life — reality –  creeps in.  And that just sets the stage for self-blame and judgment and guilt…  who needs that? I decided, instead, to focus on a theme. This year, for me, will be The Quest for an Artful Life.

Those who have known me for a long time will know of my constant struggle with my creative Muse. She and I have gone back and forth for years now… a tug of war, with many ups and downs and highs and lows. Music and sound have always been the structure in which I have tried to express myself, but honestly, I am just not feeling it like I used to feel it. This has been my first inkling that I need to find some new ways; explore some new avenues. Music is there, it always will be, but I need to shake up my world a bit. And so I am going to do just that. I am tired of this ’simply existing’ mode that I have found myself in. It’s time for me to embrace the life that I have always wanted… and this 9-5, Monday- Friday world is not it; it never has been. How will I do it? I’m not quite sure of the logistics, but I know that the Universe supports those who leap for their destiny… so this is me trusting, and stepping onto that Rainbow Path.

As I step boldly into the third trimester of my pregnancy, of carrying this amazing little being , I trust that I will continue to find the deeper meaning of creativity and creation. Having just read a wonderful birthing article in the latest issue of Mothering, the phrase “Ring of Fire” is resonating in my head.  Fire cleanses and prepares the way for new life, new moments.

So, with that, I embrace my own personal ring of fire, and cross through it.

Eugene Buchko's Ring of Fire

Another year is coming to a close. Time to delve in to see what was there…

The year was filled with many good things, but it certainly was a time of chaos and change. Actually, it was a year filled with Things I Said I Would Never Do Again. This year I found myself once again living with someone, then getting married again (third time’s the charm), then (the biggie!) finding myself pregnant at the age of 37, with two teenage kids. All good things in the end, mind you, but still things that I had sworn at one point would never happen again.

Lesson learned, Universe. The phrase, “I will never [fill in the blank] again” has been wiped from my repertoire! Actually, let’s broaden that to eliminating the phrase ”I will never [fill in the blank]” because this year also saw me buying a house for the first time… something else that I swore would NEVER HAPPEN. Sometimes I think I just set myself up for these things, you know?

All in all, I cannot complain about 2009. I have two wonderful teenagers, a healthy baby on the way, a Really Good Marriage (yes! they do exist… who knew??), a beautiful home, and I am actually happy. And stable (a pleasant thing, much to my surprise). And mostly content. Mostly, simply because there are some things that I need to move forward with personally in order to be a little more fulfilled. Creative sparks need to fly, you know.

• Things that were supposed to happen in 2009, but for one reason or another didn’t: Project Wild Folk.
• Things that may or may not happen in 2010: Project Wild Folk
• Things that WILL happen in 2010:  Time will tell, because I’m not. At least not yet. This is not to say that I don’t have plans, because I do with a capital ‘P’. But I think I shall hold the plans close, until I am ready to set them free, to soar as they will.

So, to wrap it all up, here are a few snapshots of my year, for auld lang syne. Bring it on, 2010. I have grand hopes for you!!

What is better than a cat in heat? TWO cats in heat. Yes, it is waaaay beyond time for Blueberry and Blackberry to have a visit to the vet.

In the meantime, we shall all go quietly insane.

Metro Atlanta is in the midst of heavenly downpour. It’s been raining for days now, and it is expected to continue to rain through the end of the work week. Reports say that cars are floating away in Douglas County. Hopefully my previous work friends are not affected!

The rain fits my mood of late. Things have felt so heavy; too much to wade through. Things have eased somewhat over the last couple days, but I feel like I have a lot to work through in the weeks (months?) to come. Need to figure out a lot of life’s path stuff…. which is never easy, and not often fun.

In Baby News, things are fine. A fine, strong heartbeat and tests have all been normal. We have a lot to do to prepare for the homebirth, and to get the nursery ready. My mind still boggles at the idea of putting a nursery together…

Speaking of the Little Bean, it’s time to down the prenatal vitamins (which means that my stomach will be upset for the next hour or so). I’ve nothing else to ramble on about, so toodle-oo and pip, pip, cheerio for now!

I’m not sure if this is life, or if it’s a whirlwind. Maybe life is synonomous with whirlwind… sort of like Dorothy’s tornado. Except instead of taking me to Oz, my whirwind has swept me through buying a house, moving, getting married, and right into pregnancy. How many people can say that they conceived on their wedding night in Las Vegas? Maybe more than I would even believe. But it’s true… it does happen. What a crazy two and a half months it has been.

Trying to come to terms with being pregnant has not been easy. Quite the surprise, it was. With two kids in high school, it wasn’t even close to being on my radar. So, it’s been a journey thus far, and I’m only 8 weeks along the path. But the best things in life often come when we least expect them, so I’m trusting that all is going along as it should be.

In addition to that, I’m still trying to figure out where I’m going in general. I’m not satisfied with the current state of ME. I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, that much I know. But what I *am* supposed to be doing? Well, that is where I’m clueless. I just simply know that I’m not doing it.

But I’ll get there. Somehow, some way.
Faith and trust.