wild sparks
1
finding the love
Filed under: Love, The Journey | Tags: body, life, love | September 1st, 2010
Today I start to love my body.
For its beauty. For its flaws. Because of its beauty. Because of its flaws.
I love my breasts, for the pleasure they give and receive. For the nourishment they have given my children.
I love my womb, for the life it has produced and carried, and birthed.
I love all parts of me, no matter how big or how small. My muscles, my bones, my organs.
The jeans that no longer fit do not matter. The stretch marks, the cellulite, the droops, the sags. No matter.
My body carries me. It supports me. It houses my strong spirit.
There is no other body like it, in the whole, wide, world. My body is mine, all mine!
And I give thanks for it.
31
she dreams
Filed under: Create!, Life, The Journey | Tags: artful (5), dreams, journey (3) | August 31st, 2010
An email from a friend has me pondering dreams today. Not the dreams that happen when one sleeps, but the dreams that one has for the future… for life. When I think back to the dreams that I had as a bright-eyed, naive 17 year old, I feel nostalgic, and, yes, a bit sad. I am not on Broadway after all, darn it! I’ve never even seen something on Broadway, much less perform in a Broadway production. Nor did I ever become a famous singer, with many professional recordings under my belt and a wildly adoring fan base. Well, hell. What have I done with my life??
Let’s see. I went to college. I quit college. I traveled a bit across the States. I got married. I had two amazing, beautiful children. I tried to get a photography career going. Maybe not. Moved to Provo, Utah. Moved to Augusta, Georgia. I got divorced. Moved to South Carolina. I got married. I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. Got divorced. Swore I’d never live with, much less marry, anyone EVER AGAIN. Then I got married. Again. <insert ironic laugh from the Universe here> I had another amazing, beautiful child. (Again, I hear a wee chuckle from the Universe). Then there’s my spiritual journey. Too much to go into right now, and I don’t really care to do so. Sufficed to say, I’ve lived and died and lived a whole lot there, too. And gained more wisdom and insight than I ever could have hoped, or… dreamed.
So, to sum things up, I lived a whole lot of life, and gave birth to a whole lot of life. Not bad for 20 years worth of work.
No, I never made it to Broadway. But I’m still acting. No, I never got to record a hit album. But I’m still singing (and better than ever, I say). My dreams now? To cherish each moment of my three children’s lives; to rejoice in seeing their dreams come true. To go back to school and perhaps get my degree in Anthropology. To play in the mud and create gorgeous works of art out of clay. To perfect the art of Storytelling, and make use of my love of mythology. To act when I feel like it. To keep singing every damn day that I live.
Yeah, she still dreams. And she now knows that dreams shift and change, and the trick is to flow with it.
24
i need this post
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: | August 24th, 2010
Right now, I am supposed to be writing for work (I write about cities for a small living… contract work, but it’s money, what can I say). I have been horribly blocked the last few days, though, and have had a fussy, wakeful baby. In other words, not much has gotten done work-wise. Little Bug is still asleep, which means that I should be cranking out some words on the City du Jour, but instead, I find myself here… hoping that this little exercise will push my mind into gear. A little ramble does the soul good, I think.
I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this website. I have a new endeavor going, other than the contract writing gig, and I had been thinking of letting this domain go. Picking up the other, instead. But I’m not sure I want to do that now. I think I still need Wild Sparks, for all the little sparks of creativity that pop up and make me, ME. So, I think I’m just going to do a little redesign — in all that spare time that I have, you know– and figure out a way to embrace it all. We shall see where it all goes.
Of course, if I’m going to keep any site going at all, this means I need to buckle down and make some money. Starting now. Later, peeps. I’m off to explore Claremont, New Hampshire, if only in my mind.
<3
20
A Tale of Metal and Glass and Beauty…
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: amis, art (3) | August 20th, 2010
A dear friend and talented metalsmith is back in the swing of things, after a brief hiatus… I am so glad that she is creating again, because she makes things like this:
http://istanbuldesigns.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-great-welcome-back-blog-giveaway.html
Welcome back, Alice. Your art was missed! 
24
peering through the veil…
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: faeries, holiday (3) | June 24th, 2010
… to wish everyone a very Happy Faery Day!
I hope you find a little magic today, and every day!
14
artful dodging
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: artful (5), creation (4) | June 14th, 2010
I’ve been playing dodge and seek in my quest for an artful life. For every step forward, I seem to take three steps back. I may need to declare myself Queen of Self-Sabotage. In one of my many daily inspirational emails, I was reminded this morning that intention is everything. So, if I intend my life to be artful, it will be. Just like Jean Luc Picard says: Make it so. I’ve also been reminded in other emails that action is necessary. Can’t expect results if nothing is ever started! Funny how that works.
In other news, my youngest has found her hands. The worrisome thing is that she seems to be holding her fingers up to her eye, just so, so that she appears to be crushing my head (a la Kids in the Hall).
In other other news, I have re-discovered a love/hate relationship with money. I would love to have some, and I hate that I have none.
In yet other other other news, I’ve renewed my passion for Star Trek.
And in other other other other news, I’ve finally quit Farmville. Only to take up Fantasy Kingdoms. Damn you, Facebook!
Okay, that’s all I’ve got, folks… Awen is running a tad dry lately. But I intend for it to come back. Make it so!
9
birthing babes
Filed under: Create!, Life, Mi Familia | Tags: birth, creation (4), famille | May 9th, 2010
newly born into the world
Labor started in the middle of the night, with the first contraction waking me up from a relatively sound sleep… though at the time I didn’t realize what had woken me up. I went back to sleep, only to have fitful dreams of random pains that finally resulted in waking me up to the full realization that it was time. Huzzah! This little girl had already gone past her due date– 11 days at that point. The midwife was called around 4:00 in the morning, and I finally let myself get into the idea that everything was really happening. I slipped on my special labor necklace that had been created for me by my closest women friends and my eldest daughter, and mentally prepared myself for what was to come.
Labor was… well, it was laborious. I tend to have long labors, and this was no exception. It was a slow process to 10 centimeters and it would have been nearly impossible to get through had it not been for the support and encouragement given by my husband, my wonderful midwife and her apprentice… and my shamanic drumming cd. That was an amazing experience in itself– allowing myself to sink into the drumbeat, and journey through the pain with it.
Pushing was an act of pure faith. So many times I came to the point of thinking that I couldn’t do it… that she was just going to have to stay in there. Not that it was an option, of course, but it sure seemed like a good idea at the time! With much trust (and a whole lot of burning), we prevailed, this little being and I. The moment when she crowned and came sliding forth, and was put into my waiting arms will be one that I treasure forever. Seeing her little face for the first time, after carrying her within me for so long, was simply beautiful. I feel so blessed to have experienced that moment not just once, but three times. Being a mother is the most important thing I will ever do in this life, and I am grateful.
Welcome to the world, my beautiful girl… we’re so happy you are here!
Harper, 2010
And here’s to two wonderful children who came before you, the other lights of my life.
Rhiannon, 1994
Connor, 1995
24
it’s all in the cards
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: divination | March 24th, 2010
I’m trying to get back into the habit of drawing a card each day… I’ve missed a day here and there, but it’s helping me regain some focus on Spirit, even if in a simple, small way.
Today I seem to have drawn in the energies of fire, creativity, and birth. I can’t think of a more appropriate card for me right now. This is such a beautiful image, rife with meaning and representative of so many things. I’m standing at the edge of a whole new life… creatively, professionally, and in regards to my family and home. I feel like Spring has sprung in more ways than one! Outside the sun is shining and a fresh breeze is drifting through the trees. The same is happening for me internally.
I am in love with my life.
In the background of the photo, you can see my ironwood Owl peeking out (gifted to me by my beautiful best friend), and the very edge of my apple grove candle holder. The little crystal in front is a Shamanic Dream Crystal.
16
music, mud, myth and me
Filed under: Artful Life, Create!, The Journey, Words and Phrases | Tags: artful (5), clay (2), creation (4), journey (3) | March 16th, 2010
I make the encircling of the crafts
about me this Spring day:
delight of poetry,
majesty of music, variety of art,
vision of seership,
compassion of healing,
peace of prayer,
spirit of druidry,
inquiry of science,
transformation of alchemy.
Nine crafts about me,
perfection of skill
encompass my soul this day.
~Caitlin Matthews
I’ve been a bit lost lately. Music, which has always been so important to me, seemed to have left me. My sense of Spirit, of Myth – my connection with Divine – also fundamentally important, seemed to have left with it. The two were always so interconnected for me, and had taken up my time, energies, and studies for years. It was odd to feel so disconnected from things that had been so much a part of me. But, I thought, maybe I just needed a break.
Enter mud. Well, clay, really. Figuring that something completely different and new could help rejuvenate me, I dived right in. It does seem to have shaken some things loose, but I have some work to do. Some other things to fire in a completely different kind of kiln.
It came to me today that I’ve let a lot of things cloud my sight. I need to get back to the basics and rediscover what these things mean *to me*. Somewhere along the way I lost my own vision. It’s time to reclaim that, and forge ahead on a path that is mine. What this means, exactly, I’ve yet to uncover.
I still find inspiration in Things Celtic, so I will stick with that, and begin exploring myth, music, and art anew. It’s time to clear away some cobwebs and clutter.
Fresh eyes, fresh mind, fresh heart.
9
k.i.s.s.
Filed under: Meanderings | Tags: artful (5), simplicity | March 9th, 2010
Keep
It
Simple
Sweetheart
As a part of my quest for artful living, I’m also trying to simplify. I’m longing to get my life back in alignment with my beliefs… another drawback of being so busy before is that it was easy to let certain things go, and take the easier (more convenient) ways. I’ve recently signed up with Freecycle.org, a group that I’ve known about for a few years now, but never got around to joining. I look forward to being able to clear out our garage a little bit, and help someone out while doing it! I’m also excited to start planning our garden. Growing some of our own fruits, vegetables, and herbs will be so wonderful, both for our bodies and for our budget. I recently won a giveaway and am awaiting a shipment of various herbal roots for healing that will be ready for planting. Lovely!
Yes, Spring must be on its way. I’m feeling that need to clear out, make space, reclaim, and renew. To truly make this house our home.
With that, I blow a great big k.i.s.s. your way, dear reader. May the day bring beautiful things your way.