Ode to Autumn

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
~ John Keats

O Wild West Wind, thou breath of Autumn’s being
Thou from whose unseen presence the leaves dead
Are driven like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing,
Yellow, and black, and pale, and hectic red,
Pestilence-stricken multitudes! O thou
Who chariotest to their dark wintry bed
The wingèd seeds, where they lie cold and low,
Each like a corpse within its grave, until
Thine azure sister of the Spring shall blow
Her clarion o’er the dreaming earth, and fill
(Driving sweet buds like flocks to feed in air)
With living hues and odours plain and hill;
Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, O hear!
~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

Nature XXVII, Autumn

The morns are meeker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry’s cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.
The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I’ll put a trinket on.
~Emily Dickinson

To Autumn.

O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stained
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou mayest rest
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.
~William Blake

A lot of people will say this when they are undergoing a shift, or partaking in a new endeavor. The thing is, each day is the first day of the rest of your life. Each day is the day when you can create and shape what will be in the days that come. Isn’t that brilliantly beautiful? Every day, we get a new slate on which to write, draw, doodle. Make a “mistake”? No worries, just wipe it clean the next morning and begin again. Not to diminish the rippling effects of the things that we do, both good and bad. Those resonate outwards, always and forever, but we always get a chance to change their direction.

Today I am hard at work, creating a business plan for my new venture, and formulating ideas for the clay art/pottery that is to come. I have decided that Wild Sparks the website will stay, at least for now, and it will be the landing page for the various paths that my life is taking.

You may hear snippets from time to time about The Barefoot Bard (my new persona, if you will). The Barefoot Bard is an independent seller of Barefoot Books, but she is much more than that. I will be embracing my love of mythology, music and performance, and will be bringing my act on the road… so to speak. So stay tuned for that! Clay artwork is also in the works. Barefoot, playing in the mud– that’s me!

As always, a work in progress… ever changing, ever growing, ever becoming.

Peace to you and yours.

For its beauty. For its flaws. Because of its beauty. Because of its flaws.

I love my breasts, for the pleasure they give and receive. For the nourishment they have given my children.

I love my womb, for the life it has produced and carried, and birthed.

I love all parts of me, no matter how big or how small. My muscles, my bones, my organs.

The jeans that no longer fit do not matter. The stretch marks, the cellulite, the droops, the sags. No matter.

My body carries me. It supports me.  It houses my strong spirit.

There is no other body like it, in the whole, wide, world. My body is mine, all mine!

And I give thanks for it.

An email from a friend has me pondering dreams today. Not the dreams that happen when one sleeps, but the dreams that one has for the future… for life. When I think back to the dreams that I had as a bright-eyed, naive 17 year old, I feel nostalgic, and, yes, a bit sad. I am not on Broadway after all, darn it! I’ve never even seen something on Broadway, much less perform in a Broadway production. Nor did I ever become a famous singer, with many professional recordings under my belt and a wildly adoring fan base. Well, hell. What have I done with my life??

Let’s see. I went to college. I quit college. I traveled a bit across the States. I got married. I had two amazing, beautiful children. I tried to get a photography career going. Maybe not. Moved to Provo, Utah. Moved to Augusta, Georgia. I got divorced. Moved to South Carolina.  I got married. I moved to Atlanta, Georgia. Got divorced. Swore I’d never live with, much less marry, anyone EVER AGAIN. Then I got married. Again. <insert ironic laugh from the Universe here>  I had another amazing, beautiful child. (Again, I hear a wee chuckle from the Universe).  Then there’s my spiritual journey. Too much to go into right now, and I don’t really care to do so. Sufficed to say, I’ve lived and died and lived a whole lot there, too. And gained more wisdom and insight than I ever could have hoped, or… dreamed.

So, to sum things up, I lived a whole lot of life, and gave birth to a whole lot of life. Not bad for 20 years worth of work.

No, I never made it to Broadway. But I’m still acting. No, I never got to record a hit album. But I’m still singing (and better than ever, I say). My dreams now? To cherish each moment of my three children’s lives; to rejoice  in seeing their dreams come true. To go back to school and perhaps get my degree in Anthropology. To play in the mud and create gorgeous works of art out of clay. To perfect the art of Storytelling, and make use of my love of mythology. To act when I feel like it. To keep singing every damn day that I live.

Yeah, she still dreams. And she now knows that dreams shift and change, and the trick is to flow with it.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this website. I have a new endeavor going, other than the contract writing gig, and I had been thinking of letting this domain go. Picking up the other, instead. But I’m not sure I want to do that now. I think I still need Wild Sparks, for all the little sparks of creativity that pop up and make me, ME. So, I think I’m just going to do a little redesign — in all that spare time that I have, you know– and figure out a way to embrace it all. We shall see where it all goes.

Of course, if I’m going to keep any site going at all, this means I need to buckle down and make some money. Starting now. Later, peeps. I’m off to explore Claremont, New Hampshire, if only in my mind.

<3

http://istanbuldesigns.blogspot.com/2010/08/its-great-welcome-back-blog-giveaway.html

Welcome back, Alice. Your art was missed!

I hope you find a little magic today, and every day!

In other news, my youngest has found her hands. The worrisome thing is that she seems to be holding her fingers up to her eye, just so, so that she appears to be crushing my head (a la Kids in the Hall).

In other other news, I have re-discovered a love/hate relationship with money. I would love to have some, and I hate that I have none.

In yet other other other news, I’ve renewed my passion for Star Trek.

And in other other other other news, I’ve finally quit Farmville. Only to take up Fantasy Kingdoms. Damn you, Facebook!

Okay, that’s all I’ve got, folks… Awen is running a tad dry lately. But I intend for it to come back. Make it so!

newly born into the world

Labor started in the middle of the night, with the first contraction waking me up from a relatively sound sleep… though at the time I didn’t realize what had woken me up. I went back to sleep, only to have fitful dreams of random pains that finally resulted in waking me up to the full realization that it was time. Huzzah! This little girl had already gone past her due date– 11 days at that point.  The midwife was called around 4:00 in the morning, and I finally let myself get into the idea that everything was really happening. I slipped on my special labor necklace that had been created for me by my closest women friends and my eldest daughter, and mentally prepared myself for what was to come.

Labor was… well, it was laborious. I tend to have long labors, and this was no exception. It was a slow process to 10 centimeters and it would have been nearly impossible to get through had it not been for the support and encouragement given by my husband, my wonderful midwife and her apprentice… and my shamanic drumming cd. That was an amazing experience in itself– allowing myself to sink into the drumbeat, and journey through the pain with it.

Pushing was an act of pure faith. So many times I came to the point of thinking that I couldn’t do it… that she was just going to have to stay in there. Not that it was an option, of course, but it sure seemed like a good idea at the time! With much trust (and a whole lot of burning), we prevailed, this little being and I. The moment when she crowned and came sliding forth,  and was put into my waiting arms will be one that I treasure forever. Seeing her little face for the first time, after carrying her within me for so long, was simply beautiful. I feel so blessed to have experienced that moment not just once, but three times. Being a mother is the most important thing I will ever do in this life, and I am grateful.

Welcome to the world, my beautiful girl… we’re so happy you are here!

Harper, 2010

And here’s to two wonderful children who came before you, the other lights of my life.

Rhiannon, 1994

Connor, 1995

I’m trying to get back into the habit of drawing a card each day… I’ve missed a day here and there, but it’s helping me regain some focus on Spirit, even if in a simple, small way.

Today I seem to have drawn in the energies of fire, creativity, and birth. I can’t think of a more appropriate card for me right now. This is such a beautiful image, rife with meaning and representative of so many things. I’m standing at the edge of a whole new life… creatively, professionally, and in regards to my family and home. I feel like Spring has sprung in more ways than one! Outside the sun is shining and a fresh breeze is drifting through the trees. The same is happening for me internally.

I am in love with my life.

In the background of the photo, you can see my ironwood Owl peeking out (gifted to me by my beautiful best friend), and the very edge of my apple grove candle holder. The little crystal in front is a Shamanic Dream Crystal.